My passion, is to catch great candid photos!

2009-This will be a little look into what Infertility can make a person think and do.

2011-Now this has turned into a Photography Blog. The infertlity is real and has pushed us back on growing into a family. We will be raising and saving funds for an adoption possibly in the future. For now its try and live life and be happy.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Project 52: 7 out of 52

Plug or Time

(I found another blog that caught my eye and their options for Week 7 are Macro or Handmade. This blog also has a Group on Flickr! I think the little butterflies in my belly are saying I should go for it. Thats abit more "public" than this is, so thats another step into getting true feedback.)

For those that are not on my FB list, I'll give you a heads up, this spring/summer may be a HUGE step into making a small career out of my hobby/love. I have had soo many ask for pricing and others that have offered to be subjects for me! I am thrilled to have my "work" looked as just that WORK.

I really love capturing memories, each moment is priceless and is just that a MEMORY. We can not go back a minute ago, just like we can not go back a year ago. The moment is now and I want to capture the NOW, so it can be looked back on as a :Captured Memory.

Heres a list of others that are on the Project 52 Journey also:

If you are also taking this Journey and would like to be added to the list please let me know and I will add you as long as you pass the favor on to have me added to yours.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Project 52: 6 out of 52

Wires or Red, those are my choses for week 6.
With Valentines right around the corner, plus a new baby that def needed 1 week photos, I knew RED would be the winner!
Just happens that my Besties couch is RED and her little baby all wrapped up alone on the sofa is just precious.

Ava Grace 1 week and 2 days old.

Project 52: 5 out of 52

All the excitement from this week has REALLY helped me see myself moving forward with this Photography stuff.

I bought a new lens this week, 50mm aka the Nifty-Fifty. I have wanted this for a good long while now. I borrowed this lens from a friend during the labor and delivery of my Besties baby.

I fell in love!

This weeks suggestions were: Steel or Ennui

Ennui: a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction, or boredom

I did not think I would find "Ennui" this week. But I have! Something always seems to come up without me really searching for these moments that are in the suggestions that I find.

The New Big Brother spending some quality time with his Grandma reading the infamous: I'm a Big Brother book.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Arrival of Baby "E"

This week I was able to be by the side of my Bestie of 12 years during her 2nd and final labor for the birth of her GIRL.

The baby's name was left a secret until her arrival. Now, I LOVE my Bestie and really did not need to know the name but others were really prying to get it out of her so I might as well too, lol.

I was totally thrown off from the clues she gave us, but she also wasn't completely in her brain either (can we say Pregnancy Brain!) when giving out the clues.

We was told it starts with a vowel, and is 2 syllables. OK, I think I know what it is: Ava. THEN we were at a Birthday get-together for her husband. We was discussing the name issue and she says "Well...maybe it's 3...or 4?" and I was like "DO WHAT?!" I said "You don't know how many syllables?! Don't you know how to clap it out?" Lol, all in fun as she says "Well I was never good in English." Omg, she is going to kill me with this!

So I assume it's one of those names that depending on how you say it depends on how many syllables are sounded out. Like: Isabelle, Elizabeth, Alexa if you say them fast it changes the syllables. Lol, yes lame I know but THE NAME WAS A SECRET AND HER AND I DO NOT KEEP SECRETS!!
We was out doing some last minute shopping aka:walking the baby out last week and she sees some storage baskets that have initials on them as the accent. Well since on display they all have "A" showing. I SWEAR I hear her say "Why do they only have "A"?" " Oh wait there are the other letters inside so you can change it." So I jumped on it and said "So it doesn't start with an "A"?!" " It's not an "A" is it?!" She blushes and just walks away. The clues are dwindling down: A long syllable name and either an "E" or an "I"!! I am leaning towards "E", so many pretty names that start with "E".

Well, she had me fooled. Completely fooled!!
This past week she has had some "end of pregnancy" issue come about. So Monday her husband stayed home from work and made her go see her Dr's nurse (she had a weekly appt the next morning, so her and I thought it's just best to wait till then, since she wouldn't be seeing the Dr.). Well apparently the husband was doing the right thing cause she was sent over for monitoring at the hospital.

The news comes that she wasn't leaving the hospital this time around 5:00pm Jan. 31st!

:) this was going to be it, her little girl was going to be in her arms within the next 48hrs AT LEAST!

I arrived at the hospital around 9pm Jan. 31st, to a room full of visitors and a Momma-To-Be sitting up laughing and chatting away. I said "Your not supposed to be laughing, they gave you Petocin! Did you already get an epidural?" Lol,I was a little mixed up.

I am then informed that the Petocin was just on a small drip and they were going to wait till morning when HER Dr would be in to decide what the next step would be.

Excellent that means we will all get a nice rest before the labor and delivery!

We then settle in, the visitors all head home with anticipation for the phone call that baby girl is here and her name is __________!

11:00pm Jan. 31st, the Momma-To-Be, her sister, her Mom and I sit around the bed to play some Euchre with PINK poker cards.

I mean what other time is perfect for PINK poker cards?! :)

The Daddy-To-Be on his laptop playing some Chess.

The Momma is having contractions but she is able to work through them very easily!

11:15pm a nurse comes in and ask if we are aware of when they are going to restart the Petocin? "Restart? No, it is ON! It is doing a small drip." The nurse then informs us all that it has not been on and they are going to start the drip back up at 3am. (She thought it wouldn't be started until after her Dr arrived in the morning around 7:00am Feb.1st) SURPRISE

The nurse suggest for her to try and get some rest. We finish out Euchre game and we all try to relax and find a spot that is kinda comfy. Which is NOT possible when there are 2 stools, 1 stationary chair and 1 reclining chair (that sounds like your making balloon animals every time you move).

The Daddy-to-be chills on 1 of the stools with my headphones (yes, I am the most prepared person to have during labor) to watch some stuff online, her mom finds a spot to lay on the floor after the stationary chair became uncomfortable and her sister takes the "balloon animal" chair. That leaves me with the other stool. That was fine cause I had every intention of finishing my Week 4 Project 52 post!
I was too exhausted to focus on why it wasn't letting me link the names of the others to my post so I called it quits around 12:30am Feb 1st. Got my blanky and used the hospital bed table as my pillow. I never really slept as I was trying to make sure everyone else was taken care of. I then hear snoring, lol, the Momma-to-be could NOT sleep through that either. You wake them up but they go right back to snoring, lol. The Momma-to-be didn't find it funny at the time. ;)

So for the remainder of the time before they start the Petocin, her and I stay up in the middle of the night just like we used to as teens just talking and passing some time. Our subjects have changed since then but all the talks are always great.

3:10am Feb. 1st, it is now time to restart the Petocin and get things set for the arrival of Baby "E"! 5 centimeters dilated and 80% effaced to start.

Contractions took NO TIME to start doing there job very efficiently. They came in every 30 minutes to bump up the amount she was given. From here it kinda becomes a blur.The nurse came in and dropped the drip down cause it was causing them to come too close at some point.

At probably 5:00am she requested some pain relief but did not want the "Big Dog" yet. Stadol (?) was administered to give her some relief. She really wasn't happy with this med cause it didn't help her feel them any less. She still was uncomfortable and feeling them like before and having to breathe through them. But during the 3-4 minutes between the contractions she was able to relax and take herself away for just a moment, but she was still telling us that it was a joke and wasn't doing squat for her, lol. She was really wanting to hold out till she couldn't handle them any longer before the epidural. Around 6:15am she had 1 good contraction and said she was DONE! She didn't want to feel them anymore! So the request was made for an Epidural.

Nurse comes in and tells us he has been called and is on his way in BUT he was at home. (They have to live no longer than 30 mins away in order to be allowed to go home.) She wasn't thrilled to hear that :( It really didn't take too long for him to come in the room though. Seemed like as soon as things were getting anxious in our room he came in the door!

A Knight in Shining Armour :D

No one was allowed in the room while the Epidural was placed, we all go to the waiting room for what seemed to be a while. Her husband was pacing some and saying he didn't remember it taking this long the 1st time. Come to find out he was right!

The 1st try the needle went to far (EWWW, I don't do needles!), so he had to place a 2nd one to give her the correct relief.
We were welcomed back into the room around 6:45am. To learn that they checked her cervix AFTER the Epidural was placed and she was: 9 centimeters and some and completely effaced!!! Her Dr has been called, and said she would be there at 7:15am, she is not to push till her Dr gets there!

It is tough to not push when you have the pressure on your bottom and your body slowly pushing on its own. She becomes completely ready in no time! Her Dr arrived in the room at EXACTLY 7:15am, she is good with her timing!!

Out of the room her sister and I go. We sit in the waiting room all by ourselves just waiting for that door to open and be told that she is here. I tried to lay out and get some sleep but I just knew she wouldn't take long pushing so I just couldn't sleep. Plus, I really would have liked to have stayed in the room just in a corner. There is nothing like witnessing a new person into this world! So I may have been exhausted but too excited to actually sleep.

7:45am (roughly) the daddy walks in the waiting room and says "She is here." :) YAY!! I knew it wouldn't take long!!

Now we get to find out what Baby "E" name is. She had a blanket monogrammed as the way to announce her name to those that came to the hospital. I was happy that the baby was here and everyone was doing well. THEN I saw the name on the blanket and well....I was tricked!!!

I KNEW she would like Ava if she would just not think about every ones opinion, but she told me she really didn't like it. LIAR!! AND she was telling me the syllables for her 1st AND middle name, I was just trying to figure out her 1st name! OH you trickster ;)

Ava Grace arrived at 7:20am on Feb. 1, 2011 weighing 8lbs 15ozs and was 21ins long with a

Welcome to the world Ava and I can't wait to watch how you grow and turn into a lovely Lady!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Project 52: 4 out of 52

This week FLEW by! Where did the week go?

I of course had my camera in hand all weekend. (I am really trying to make it a habit to actually turn my camera on and click.) I usually take it but don't use it. There was one family visit that I wasn't expecting to turn into a memorable night, and I DIDN'T have my camera! They would have been the greatest memory to have captured to date. And I didn't have my camera and my iPhone was not going to catch any of the emotion. UGH!!

Well the suggestions for this week were: Lines or Reflection

(I couldn't tell you what I did this week, but I can tell you I felt like I was never home. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thrusday were ALL out and about days spent running around with misc. people. Great times but the week seemed to pass me up!)

During the weekend I was able to get a shot of some "lines" with our Puppies!

Our 1st "Baby" laying very weird for him while soaking up a little bit of sunshine we had.

Our 2nd "Baby" relaxing on her favorite rug. (It's meant for keeping the snow off the carpet when we first walk in, lol. She will miss when the weather changes!)

Tonight we went over to some friends house and the sky was just lite up with pink! Which also just so happens to be the "reflection" from the sun on them! Wohoo

The sky always brings a smile to my face. Always has and always will!

styleberry, Capturing My Time, Finding Joy, Baby Bliss, Bump Meet Baby, Wicked Kate, FiTori, WAH/SAH Mom, Phreckle Face, Healthy Cultivations

VERY SORRY for this delay, I sometimes get computer stupid and this week was for sure one of those weeks.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Project 52: 3 out of 52

Dirty or Self-Portrait
Hummm, what shall I choose? What shall I choose?

Well here is as "Dirty" as I got! Lol, I little snow left behind from rumaging through the bushes. This face makes us soo happy, he is our Baby. Alsways at our feet and tagging along behind his Daddy. He likes to be in the middle of whatever is going on.

And then there is ME! Oh how I hate being infront of the camera!

I had some medical appts this week, as listed in the prior post. I had 3 days this week that I just wasn't myself. Then this past weekend all I could think about was what I had ahead of me. With all of this, I was not as focused on my goal for the week as I would have liked.

If you are also doing a Project 52 and would like to be added to the blog list below, please let me know and I will gladly add you to the others.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A Reality Check

Crohn's Disease
This week I have had to face reality of what my life and future really is. As the title states this is in regards to having Crohn's Disease.
A little background history: 2002 at the age of 19 I started to have VERY serious stomach issues. I had ultrasounds to see if there was an Ectopic Pregnancy (which at the time I had NO IDEA what one was, so I was going in willing to accept a pregnancy with my now husband WAY earlier than anticipated. Ha, yeah someone should have told me the details!). I drank Mineral Oil cause I was just "constipated". I had sooo many people ask me if I was pregnant, I was very bloated and being a small person (roughly 90pds!) it really showed. I would run severely high temperatures but be able to go about my day without knowing it. It became normal to be in severe abdominal pain, have a high fever and get literally sick daily! I couldn't tie my shoes cause I couldn't bend over without agonizing pain. I stayed at our apartment laying on the couch in fetal position ,while my boyfriend would go out with his friends.
Needless to say one day I asked to go home early from work cause "something just wasn't quite right". They were always concerned for me along with many others. I did not have health insurance at the time and working a minimum wage job, so it was difficult to pay for Dr appts. A week before "something just wasn't quite right" I had went to a Gastroentologist that my grandmother saw herself. She was able to get me in their office before the appt that my family physician had scheduled with another Gastoentologist. He suggested a CT Scan, but with me paying for that myself I asked to receive meds for IBS(Irritable Bowel Syndrome) instead. Well I made it A WEEK!
I went home that day and was getting sick quite often. Around 1am what was coming up was NOT what I had just put down there! SCARY! I call my Mom to ask what she thinks I should do. She says "Tell Patrick to take you to the ER and let us know where you are going and your Dad and I will meet you there." they live an hour away from where I had moved to be with Patrick. So I had the luxury of waking my boyfriend up and tell him it's time to go to the hospital. He immediately got up and out we went.
After getting some lovely drugs to make me feel better. After (what I believe was a CT Scan) a test showed that the YUMMY (not) liquid I had drank literally stopped flowing cause the bowel had flipped itself over and was twisted.
Immediate surgery was done that morning. I was then welcomed into the world of having a life-long, incurable medical condition called: CROHN'S DISEASE
So here I was a freshly turned 20 year old with a life-long disease. I was told at the time of surgery that he thought they had been able to remove all that was there. But I was also told that that does not mean that it is gone! It may become active again or it may never show it's face.

Last week I went to see my Gastroentologist for the second time in less than a year. It has been 8 years since my surgery, but again "something just didn't seem quite right". This time I HAVE health insurance and plus I KNOW that I have an issue. (I do not want to be in fetal position laying on a couch while everyone else goes out again!) I have lost roughly 20-25pds in less than a year. I am wearing pants that I have not been able to wear in 6 years (thank goodness I kept a few of them!). I wasn't having quite the same complications as 8 years ago, but I just had a feeling that something may be off again.
So it was time to step up to the plate of REALITY. I agreed to have a Colonoscopy along with a EGD (These are the test where scopes are used to look around the upper and lower digestive system) a procedure that I have been TERRIFIED of, TERRIFIED. I agreed because he told me I would be put to sleep, lol. OK I can deal with taking good drugs so I have no recollection of this!
So it was time to do the "prep" for the test. The crap I had to drink was the MOST DISGUSTING STUFF EVER! It took the max. time frame to work and made my stomach just grumble and crappy. Once it started to work the fear came back, I am not really going to do this am I?! But I have to, something isn't right and this is the best way to know exactly what IS going on. So I finished my prep (I couldn't finish all of the "major" prep, cause it was gagging me and I felt I had enough in my system that I was good to go anyways.) and headed out with my husband into the morning rush hour traffic.
We arrive late, registration was backed up so that took longer than it should have. I am just looking at the main entrance and really wanting to just RUN OUT OF THERE! Finally name is called and it's time to get signed into the hospital :(
I had soo many people tell me the prep was the worst part and I had nothing to worry about. None of that helped me to not worry, this has been a nightmare of mine and I had to live it right now. I get the IV which I again almost pass out from cause heaven forbid a needle comes near me "rolling my eyes", lol. I made it through that it I will admit that was the only uncomfortable situation I had while at the hospital!
It's time for me to be rolled back into the room, YAY omg talk about nerves. I am still fine as I am first in observation room. Then she puts oxygen on me, immediately this becomes real. Tears just start rolling down my face. I just don't understand why me, why do I have to have this incurable disease and be put through my worst fear?! My Dr comes over to talk to me but sees that I am upset, he tells me they are going to take care of me and I will be fine. He then puts the "good" drugs in through my IV tells me it's going to burn a little and YEP IT BURNED ALITTLE! I tell myself just breathe through it, that was my modo for the past few days, whether it was pain, or mental issues "Emily, just breathe through it.". He asks if I am scared and I tell him yes. He ask if I am scared of what could be found or of the procedure. I was like "The Procedure!" I mean how normal is it to have a camera shoved down your throat and in your booty hole?! To me that's NOT normal.
The last thing I remember was looking in his eyes(he has been my "butt"
Dr since the beginning) and telling him "This is Reality".

Next thing I know I am being woke up back in recovery. We are then told that my Crohn's Disease is active but it is Mild. The upper scope showed no reason for my weight loss. So good news and unexplained news came out of my nightmare.
I will say I was worked up for NO REASON!!! I have no memory of anything after seeing the black cameras, which I may suggest to him not to bring in till the person is out lol, come in and the sedative. I feel NO DIFFERENT ANYWHERE! I though for sure I would be one "uncomfortable" lady.

So I have lived through my nightmare, my worst fear and came out looking like a moron for being so freaked out about it. But now we know, we know my Crohn's is active and I need to be officially put on meds so it doesn't get any worse. I need to get back into my healthy lifestyle so I can do as much as I can to help keep myself healthy while I'm able to.

If anyone has questions about Crohn's don't be afraid to ask, it's one of those "invisible" diseases, both my brother and I have this disease but we both have completely different issues.

My new Reality is, I am not invisible from this terrible disease.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Project 52: 2 out of 52

This week I had a hard time choosing which theme to go with: Food or Snow! Well, I co-hosted the Baby Shower this past weekend which of course had food, AND we had our first worthwhile snow here. We had 3 inches dropped on us, not anything huge as other parts of the US, but it has my grass covered so I am HAPPY. I am not a Winter person by any means I would rather have sweat running down my back then my toes being frosty. But if it's going to be cold I want snow and as much as we can get.

I am going with the SNOW! Everyone has food possibilities, but not everyone has snow. So for all that love snow, ENJOY! I personally like the look but nothing else appeals to me...unless children are involved.

f/4.0, 1/1000, ISO 1600

This was taken later in the day at my Grandma-in-laws. I couldn't pass up her Holly tree with the pop of the RED berries! (I am not a fan of brown or green and well those are the only colors we have here for half the year.) She did not get as much snow as we did. Amazing what 30-35 mile drive can change weather-wise.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Four Things

Here's some insight to who I AM!

1. Four TV shows that I watch:

Grey's Anatomy
The Big Bang Theory
Two and a Half Men
Human Target

2. Four things that I’m passionate about:

my nieces and nephews, they mean the world to me
photography and learning how to get a better picture
determining IF we will expand our family into 3 or more one day
staying healthy

3. Four words/phrases I use a lot:

I love my CARDS! :)
Huh, that's interesting.
Quit licking your feet! (this would be to our female dog, shes alittle obsessed)

4. Four things I’ve learned from the past:

Life is short, try and live each day to its best ability
Try new things, one day it may not be able to be tried
Life is not like Disney portrays!
I can be beaten down and still come out on the other side.

5. Four places I would like to go:

any island that is surrounded with warm white sandy beaches

6. Four things I did yesterday:

Finished the bath salts from previous post.
Had a nice family bday dinner with my besties family.
Enjoyed the long car ride up to my hometown, while listening to some new songs on my iPhone.
Did some laundry. (yep I am pretty boring)

7. Four things I am looking forward to:

The arrival of my besties girl and finding out her name!!
Vaca on the beach this July!
Doing a Zip-Line!
Seeing my sis-in-law graduate from high school!

8. Four things I love about winter:

enough snow that I can fall down without a care and not hit the hard ground
hot cocoa
the snow falling so slowly as with no care in the world

Project 52

I have given myself a Photography challenge! Project 52 It represents 52 photos in 52 weeks, 1 photo a week posted. No problem! This "project" is supposed to follow a "theme", well I sure can not think of 1 theme to hold my interest for the whole year. So I will be taking pictures to make myself get out my camera and take pics based on a subject for the week. I found some info that fits just what I wanted to achieve. So for this week I went with Week 1 "black and white" from 2010. I do not know how to edit so I try to take the best picture through my lens. I currently have a Canon Rebel XS, this was a early Christmas present in 2008 from my wonderful husband. I LOVE IT! I recently (thanks to an online friend) have been actually "using" the camera! Meaning it is set in "M" manual mode, I am telling the camera how to take the pic. It is frustrating at many times but when something good comes out I am one happy lady. :)

So here is my 1st pic to start out the year!

1 out of 52

This has been my week :) preparing for my Besties Baby Shower! Her sister and I are hosting a Princess themed shower this weekend. This is her second child but it's the little girl that she has so badly wanted. This picture is the Bath Salts for her guest as party favors. I slaved over this project for a week, lol! Homemade bath salts are not hard, but when your making enough for possibly 70 guest it gets a little boring and tedious. They really turned out well in the end and I think Mrs. Mommy-To-Be will LOVE them.

Hope everyone has a good week ahead!