My passion, is to catch great candid photos!

2009-This will be a little look into what Infertility can make a person think and do.

2011-Now this has turned into a Photography Blog. The infertlity is real and has pushed us back on growing into a family. We will be raising and saving funds for an adoption possibly in the future. For now its try and live life and be happy.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Project 52: 8 out of 52

Away or Fall


Strength or Green

To me, this represents BOTH!

STRENGTH, from the mound of mulch the small GREEN

petals made inorder to reach the surface.

Other Project 52'ers! If you would like to be added along with them please let me know and I will link you, as long as I am linked on your space aswell.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Round 2 of Bloodwork!

January 25, 2010 was CD3! Yay, not. This was the 3 day of my "cycle" on this day they take more vials of blood to check I believe the most important is my FSH levels/Estrogen. Needless to say, I was a NERVOUS wreck going back in for blood work! I was also having a 2 hour Glucose Test done, get it over and done with.

So the night before I have to fast in order to have the Glucose Test done. I tell Patrick I need something good to eat, before the test. I tell him I want "Grilled Chicken Pasta Salad from, Cheddars." Well, I get Nachos from El Nopalitos?! Whatever. I am soo nervous that I didn't get to sleep until 1:30AM! I was cleaning, organizing and CHUGGING water like CRAZY.
I had to be downtown by 8am to get started with the testing. I wake up at 6:30am and start CHUGGING more water! I soooo do not want to relive the last time with bw! As I am driving I am nice and calm driving in the morning rush hour traffic, chugging more water. The drive wasn't bad, if I would have been running late then YES it would have been terrible. I had our GPS to help me find the way while IN downtown, so I wouldn't get too lost, lol. Made it there in perfect timing, then realized I don't have any cash for the garage. Oh man, what am I going to do? I figured I would wait until later to worry about that I mean I was going to be there for almost 3 hours anyway.
So off to the office I go, water and all. Stocked the iPod with new tunes and a audio book so I would have plenty to keep me occupied. Upon entering the office I make my way to the "Laboratory" (I can I just run the other way!) seemed like such a long distance for the destination of no return. I walk in and the nurse wasn't the NICEST, but I was an unexpected guest, but whatever lets just get this over with. I am then called back to get the 1st set of vials taken. I tell her about my incident from last time and we made some quick adjustments: Tried the arm that works best with me, and a nice COLD icepack already in place, aah so nice. IT WAS QUICK AND OVER WITH IN NO TIME!! Thank You! But she had to see IF I could do the Glucose Test by checking the begging levels 1st....GO TO GO! Alright now to drink this "Fruit Punch sugar water". There was a lady in the waiting room drinking hers and she was having a hard time with it, me nope I've been chugging water all morning, this flavored 12oz was NOTHING. I also had to pee really bad by now and didn't want to take my drink in the bathroom with me. Soo CHUG, CHUG! I finished before the lady that was in the waiting room, lol.
Now to seat and wait for 2 hours to see how the body breaks down the sugars. The lady in the waiting room, I really hope I see her again she was great company AND expecting TWINS!! She and I chatted for a good while before I was just like soo tired. Not sure if it was from the drink or the little sleep from the "morning" before. So she went in for her testing and I turned on the iPod and listened to abit of my book, while I sat with my head in my palm against my cozy jacket half asleep. She came out and before she left she wished me good luck! Soo heart warming, she was given a 8 to10% chance for her procedure to work and they only had enough for the one shot and she ends up with 2! I can only wish to be in her shoes in the next few months when we find out what can be done.
I then decide its time to call my boss and let them now I MAY be alittle late. So I go to the lobby and call my Bestie, lol I know I'm supposed to be calling my Boss! But I wanted to call her before she went into work. I walk outside to the street curb and it is flurrying and I just soo love downtown, let alone when all the hustle and bustle is happening but the weather does not care. It is nice and slow as it floats down. I just love the snow, I could watch it for days and never get tired of it.
Then I call the Boss as I should have 1st, and tell them I was downtown getting blood drawn and a 2 hr test. It then is close to my 2ND time for the blood drawn, now on this round I could drink water but could NOT chug the water like I was in the morning. But I was optimistic I made it through the 1st one without a sign of passing out I can on this one too!
I go back upstairs, sit in the waiting area next to a husband/boyfriend. His wife gets called back (she was there for a 1 hour glucose test). Its me next!! After just abit he looks over at me and says "You've been here awhile?" Me "Yea, but I'm next!" lol Can only imagine how crazy it looked for me to be there before they arrived, leave for an hour and then show BACK UP?! lol Then its my turn! Here we go, by now I am still feeling queasy, not sick but not great. Sorta felt like I good just feeling the "sugar water" coating my empty stomach. So she ask how I feel, I say not great kinda feel bad and tired. I really didn't know how tired I was until it was time to hold the ice pack against my neck, but it felt soo good, lol. She was able to be quick and easy once again without a hitch of the passing out again!!!!! Sooo thrilled! So off I go to get me some food and head to work.
Then I'm like oh yea, paying for my parking?! How can that be done? They location has a concierge to help with your questions and thankfully the garage takes Credit!! Wohoo, I can get my car out! lol
I was soo tired and just didn't feel like my normal self. So I just headed back my work area to find something to eat. Stopped and got me a burger and that still just didn't make me feel better. I had sometime before I had to be at work and soo could have came home but it I had I might have fallen asleep and missed getting to work on time. So I picked up the food and went straight to work.
I went in and told them I just wasn't me. I did my best and didn't feel better until mid-day! Crazy
After awhile this lady comes up and says HI! I WAS THE LADY FROM THE WAITING ROOM!! I was soo happy to see her out in the real world. I must see her and get her name so we can keep contact.
So as of right now we are still waiting on results and I am still waiting on the final previous work up to be sent over. Feeling good, optimistic about what our future holds, but whatever it is. IT WILL BE GREAT!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

1st RE visit

We had our 1st RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist?) to see what his opinion is on helping our child come to a reality.

So Jan 15, 2010 we wake up nice and early to go downtown Louisville to meet with our Specialist. We arrive in better than planned time, with rush hour you just never know what you will come across. So we arrive and find his office location. Very nice nurses and a fabulous wait time, I almost DIDN'T have to wait. This has been uncommon at the other Dr's. offices I have seen lately.
So I am weighed and Blood Pressure taken. We are escorted to an office where I am to finish filling out all our paperwork.

Dr. Morris(?) along with an intern greet me shortly after I completed the paperwork. He reviews the info and then ask if I bought my chart with me. My "wonderful" OB/GYN office was supposed to send my chart. Yeah, they sent my chart but no HISTORY?! I was pissed! Pissed beyond words. I go to a Specialist Appt to speak about our Conception issues and your NOT going to send the Infertility work that was done?! (Needless to say, they received a call in regards to getting ALL my info to the office.)
So now I am at a consult visit and they can only give me information based on the info that I can give them. Based on this Dr. Morris suggest possible PCOS. I can handle that. Take some Fertility Meds to increase the Egg Quality (exactly what I wanted to hear!) THEN....Dr. Nakajima (the ACTUAL RE) comes into the room after a quick overview with a talk from Dr. Morris. He then states his concern with my Fallopian Tube. He believes that the tube is a "Hydro" Tube meaning the tube produces fluid and since my tube has a possible physical abnormality the fluid stays in the tube and becomes TOXIC. This toxic fluid is then released into the Uterus, causing a terrible environment for a embryo to survive also the fluid cause the surface to be slippery and can cause problems with an embryo TO attach.
I was/am devastated. The continues to tell is there is a surgery that can be done to remove the bad tube. "Oh, lets talk more about this!" HA that was a joke. There IS a small surgery BUT since I have Chrones Disease the Fallopian Tube is possibly wrapped around my bowels. So in turn during the small surgery that COULD be done, they may puncture my bowel and then have to REALLY open my up and remove more bowel and have a long recovery. (I am sorry but I am in remission from my Chrones and REALLY DO NOT want to go backwards!) Patrick and I both are in agreeance that this surgery is just not an option for us. He used the word "Risky" too often, and to us that sounds just devastating.
So after the talk I am asked to get some bloodwork to check some hormone levels. I ask to see if I could get something to eat first as I don't do well with bloodwork and haven't had anything to eat since it was early morning. They then request for a Glucose test since I have been "fasting", I was like sure! Why Not?! Then as we are walking down the hall to the Lab, I find out I would have to stay AT the office for 2 hours in order for the Glucose Test to be achieved. I have other appts, as I wasn't expecting to stay at the drs. for 4 hours. So we decide the Glucose test will be done on a later date, but I still have the bloodwork drawn. I have a very hard time with this procedure. Me+Needles+No food=bad First I have inherited the veins from my Mother that like to "roll around" (ugh gives me chills just to write it!), Second Needles have always freaked me out whether I am have blood taken away or having something injected it ALL just messes with me. So here we go! I tell them ahead of time my issues. So lets get started, one arm doesn't cooperate NEXT she gets this arm to work out. Then my hand starts to tingle, kinda the its falling asleep feeling, I tell her this and then almost immediately after I tell her I start to feel the world start to get fuzzy. She lets the tourniquet loose and the tingling goes away, but the fuzzy that stays! Then I can't hear, she tells me to rest my head backwards. That was soo hard to do, by this point my head is in my elbow. I do get the energy to move the body and have my head resting on the wall. BUT the world goes BLACK, I start to sweat and freak out. She tells me just to breathe, ok I can do that she will be done as soon as she can, I must start to freak out again cause she tells me again, just concentrate on deep breaths. Oh my, I could feel the sweat rolling down my chest. All I could think was "Tell them to get you a cold towel." But I am not able to speak by this point. FINALLY she is done and able to get me some water and an icepack!! All of that felt sooo good. She ask if I'm OK and I was like yea, but just give be abit. She tells me well I'm not leting you get up for 10minutes, not until I know your alright. So I sit with this bar in front of me to lean on, reminded me of a adult highchair, lol. She says you want a baby right? At this point I REALLY had to think about it cause what I just went through was quite an adventure for me. But I did say Yes. Just wish I didn't have to go through all of this to get there.
After my 10 minutes, my icepack is now no longer anywhere near cold and 2 cups of water later I am allowed to go wait in the waiting room with Patrick. She whispers to him, that I had almost passed out and needed to wait 5 minutes before leaving. So we sit in an empty 6 chaired waiting room. He looks at me and says: "Your such a Panti-Waste. Almost passing out from giving blood, lol." He loves me! I am very weak after the ordeal but I have places to go and food to eat. I tell the receptionist that I am leaving and she says "OK, well your standing and your color has returned so you should be fine." I am wondering how white I must have been?! It is winter time so I have no color already!
We are told to give them a call on the first day of my new cycle to set an appt on day 3 for 3day bloodwork. (YAY!!!! More bloodwork!!) On this day I am also going to have the Glucose test done to get it over with, so yes I am going to be going into the office AGAIN without any food on my stomach to once again have blood removed. Should be a blast!! I then will stay for 2 hours, Ipod in hand, for the test to be complete.

I have now called my Dr. to request that ALL of my Fertility Work to be sent to Dr. Nakajimas' office. So they should receive that next week, if not sooner. I still need to call Radiology at Baptist East to get the actual film of the HSG that was performed and take that to the Dr.
I do believe that I will be making the call to have my bloodwork scheduled for Monday Jan. 25, 2010 to get this next step completed. Until then this the end of our Journey into the next steps. I sure hope the Dr. was stressing on the worst to not get my hopes up, only to have them crumble. But for the moment that we stand it appears that we may never have our OWN biological child.

Our future is unknown and I can't wait to see what it holds.