Here I am again and still "babyless".

It has been a few months since the last post. I have noone to blame but myself for that.

Anywho, we are still in the "trying" stages of this life adventure. A positive is that we have an appointment with a R/E (reproductive endocrine ?) on January 4, 2010! I hope this specialist gives some new hope, fx. The cost of the possible future is becoming more and more of a reality. I can only hope that we do not have to get too invasive.

I think the reality is FINALLY settling in with Patrick. We just bought himself another motorcycle! He has been thinking about this for awhile so it wasn't a surprise to me, but he just best remember this when it comes to something I want. Lol, I know he will, I will just have to pry on him alittle. He does want to "expand" our family. But he is a male and he does not have the nuturing need that a female can have.

So our adventure is not accomplished but it is for sure continuing to the next level.

Thanks for reading my nonsense.

Pondering the time.

I figured now would be a good time to start one of these. I have wanted to for awhile, but had no reason. Until now that is, lol.

So the reason: The trying time it is, and has taken us with trying to grow our own little family.

At the moment it has been 30 months, 30! MONTHS! I thought it would happen with out another thought about it. So things haven't went as planned and never will when it comes to reproduction. I have dealt with this OK until recently. I thought I was good, but my body isn't dealing with the stress well. (let alone the new job and the stress with that) My Chrones Disease has been flaring and causing pain, not a good memory with all the pain in my past.

So since the body is now telling me I am stressed, I am not as positive as I have been.

Patience is a virtue is what I have been living by and I am officially out of patience!

The "time frame" that we had planned is now years in the past. The baby stuff that I have received or bought is in the attic collecting dust and possibly even getting eatin' by moths. I have stopped buying things for our future child, I have cut back on what I buy for my Nephews and Nieces (and for those that know me that's just unheard of).

I have become a downer and that isn't what I am. I think you should always see the glass as half full. With our situation the glass seems to have a hole in it because it seems to be losing water.

And to our future (however or whoever that brings) I yearned for you, cried for you and couldn't have desired you more. You will bring what is best for us.


Emily